Fast-food salads Pt.1

Okay so lately ive been telling myself that eating a salad for lunch is a healthy and responsable thing to do. So I've been driving through various fast-food chain resturaunts in the search of the best fast-food-salad. I'd like to riff on a few of my experiences.

This here is the Jack In The Box Southwest Chicken Salad. It comes packed with some funky ass rubbar grilled chicken, "southwestern bacon ranch" dressing that can be described as kind of a sweet and spicy mayonaise. Complementing the dressing and as a awesome bonus its comes with black beans, cherry tomatoes, shredded cheddar cheese, red onion slices, cucumbers, bacon bits and a packet of these wierd crunky "southwestern" style croutons that are also spicy in nature. I have to say so far this is the best fast food salad i've come accross, this really isn't saying much, but its a respectfull attempt at creating a stylized salad that appeals to the clint eastwood in all of us. Then agian it's really just a handfull of crapy D grade veggies that are probebley just as bad for you as anything else of the menu.

I am a avid user of the salad shake method which if preformed correctly can throughly and evenly distribute the dressing and other cute contents throughout out your salad. The methond goes like this, throw all that shit that comes packaged with the salad, close the top and shake the shit out of it. (Note: if your gonna do this please seek privacey people might think your just going postal on your lunch) this ussually works pretty good and if i might say so, it's the best way to enjoy one these pieces of shit. I mean one of the worst things i could ever imagine eating or watching someone else eat would be to just rip that packet of dressing open, pour it on top, and dig in. You'd have to be crazy! like five to six bites of dressing soaked iceberg lettuce folowed by a tour through the driest, most vomit enducing, garden freshness experiance possible in the salad world. And by the way if you get a regular coke with your salad, your fucking reetarded, you might as well give yourself a laxative cuz this coke-salad combo can only lead to painfull minutes on the toliet followed by some akward moments looking into the bowl and trying to figure out if you should call your doctor. tTommarow, Carl's Jr. Charbroiled Chicken salad!

lecture # whatever

So it's Monday and that means my co-worker Ralph gives me his obligatory, "you should take this time to do something with yourself". It's half pep-talk half this is what i did and look at me, don't end up like me thing... it's really weird. I mean the guy is in his early 50's and he's just trying to get on my level i guess and try to get me to go to school and become a attorney, politician, film maker, who knows? I still feel like I'm young enough to do whatever i want i just don't want someone to pay for an education or school that I'm not really into anyways, plus i think that I'd feel like i owed someone something and make a even bigger deal out of doing nothing, mediocrity right now would be a blessing, i feel like one big loose end like the office at the end of Charlie's chocolate factory, where there is have a hall tree, half a clock, half a desk with a half typewriter on it. Like all the things around me are unfinished and that my head is like a traffic jam of ideas, thing i want to do, things i need to do, things i have to do for myself, things i need to do for others, and various other obligations and meaningless bullshit i call everyday life, i mean how fun can your weekend be when i thought that today was like Thursday instead of Monday that means the weekend was shitty i think...

i dreamt that i confronted my mothers former hostile boyfriend and he turned into my dad

i dreamt that i was driving a polished white Rolls Royce, circa 1982

are my hands as dirty as the water that runs off of them?

Costello, REM, Snobery Pt.2

So... lets preface this with the, couldn't-be-more-true statment that i'm a HUGE 90's fan and to be honest i only became familiar with the following band in the 90's years so, i will have to riff on the 90's part of their, "SUCKCESS". R.E.M is an American rock band that doesn't rock. There is truely no more worse crown to wear or title to hold then, College Radio Gods. College kids are the ussually braindead when not studying so why is this disposable icome bearing generation a cool factor indicator in the first place? Unintentional youth breeds ambivalence. Okay REM, your in the rock and roll hall of fame, WAHHHH! Fucking Re-Tard-Ed baby. Hall of fame for rock and roll, please bitch what is this the NFL? Hell no those dudes at least have a pair of balls. Micheal Stipe coudn't polish my turds if he begged for it, and he probley would cuz he's likes dudes right? Whatever! I can't imagine going to a REM concert, that would really suck. Imagine tThey would serve large non-fat latte's in ceramic bowls and pass around some type of donations cup for endangerd african elephants or some loser ass bleeding heart cause. Pardon the irony but this band is really Gay. Let's choose and member of Depeche Mode, blindfold them and tie one hand behind his back and he would still whoop the entire shit eating band to a tearful, transexual cowpie. REM you are the weakest link, goodbye!

Costello, REM, Snobery

W H O the fuck listen's to Elvis Costello? I mean this dude is like a wizzard-slut-ass version of Buddy Holly meets/that shithead from drop dead fred. Gimme a break dude, no one likes your post punk-new wave BS anymore than they did in the first place... "Allison", "Pump it up", "Watching the detectives"??? DUDE! come on those songs suck big time, I'd rather you not wirte anymore please. I don't care if you produced The Specials first album (allthough it is pretty rad) i don't care if you've worked with Eno and i don't care if you have a long standing songwriting relastionship with Paul Macartny(he's the pussy beatle anyways). You got married at Elton Johns gay palace, vertict in your fan's dont know shit, eat my butt.

PARTY TACO

Dudes and dudettes! hello im back, i took a trip to aruba w/ cobra snake and posse but now im back in town and alive for 2099! Things i learned on vacation:

a) Floss daily
b) use the phrase, "my style is the bomb ditty bomb de dang de bomb ditty"
c) listen to; Fine Young Cannibals "Good Thing, Teddy Bears "Cobrastyle"

this is the new moushtache tattoo FYI~DIY

Fav's

So i think i'll end up in one of these very soon:


"Fire In The Sky"


"Just Clownin'"


"We Stand As One"


"No Bull"


"Wizzardo"


Last but not least, "Roman'TIC"

Gangs Of New Pork

Had to pickup my aunt Karen to day from the airport and i asked her what shes been doing latey and she tells me a story about how she went to a Porn-ada party... okay so like a Mexican pinata party but with a pinata full of various Personal lubricates, sexy toys and novelty condoms. First off let me say that i got mad love for my Aunt Karen and i reallly appreciate her candid and comfortable attitude but, totally TMI girl! She went along to say that she was hand picked from the margarite swilling party goers to be the first batter up in the smash the pinate game and severed the leg off this adults only pinata spilling its naughty innards all over the ground and instantly threw her blindfold off and made the mad dash for the XXX stash and scored a bubble-wrapped fishnet skinsuit? Yikes... i don't wanna get old.

PS: sorry Carrie

dedicated

dude check this ish out i cant believe it

Dixie

this is like one of the best songs ever writen please check out, The Band preforming it live on the Martin Scorsesse directed Last Waltz, one truely epic proformance! I wish I could be Levon Helm for a day!

Band The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down Lyrics

Virgil Caine is the name, and I served on the Danville train,
'Til Stoneman's cavalry came and tore up the tracks again.
In the winter of '65, We were hungry, just barely alive.
By May the tenth, Richmond had fell, it's a time I remember, oh so well,

(Chorus)
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, and the bells were ringing,
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, and the people were singin'. They went
La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La,

Back with my wife in Tennessee, When one day she called to me,
[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

"Virgil, quick, come see, there goes Robert E. Lee!"
Now I don't mind choppin' wood, and I don't care if my money's no good.
Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest,
But they should never have taken the very best. (Chorus)

Like my father before me, I will work the land,
Like my brother above me, who took a rebel stand.
He was just eighteen, proud and brave, But a Yankee laid him in his grave,
I swear by the mud below my feet,
You can't raise a Caine back up when he's in defeat. (Chorus and fade)


Meaning of song

The lyrics tell of Virgil Cain watching as the Union Army General George Stoneman destroys the railroad where he makes a living, and then witnessing the fall of Richmond, Virginia. Virgil relates and mourns the loss of his brother, "He was just eighteen, proud and brave / But a Yankee laid him in his grave."
The song's central lament—"You take what you need and you leave the rest / But they should never have taken the very best"—is an apparent commentary on the Union Army's policy of living off the land during campaigns--where soldiers, who were sent to requisition supplies for the troops from locals [to avoid long, campaign slowing supply lines], would not only gather needed supplies, but would also loot, pillage, and rape--and on the utter destruction of the Southern homes, cities and infrastructure that was the result of a war that lasted over four years and in which there were approximately 600,000 fatalities.

Robertson claimed that he had the music to the song in his head but had no idea what it was to be about. "At some point [the concept] blurted out to me. Then I went and I did some research and I wrote the lyrics to the song." Robertson continued, "When I first went down South, I remember that a quite common expression would be, 'Well don't worry, the South's gonna rise again.' At one point when I heard it I thought it was kind of a funny statement and then I heard it another time and I was really touched by it. I thought, 'God, because I keep hearing this, there's pain here, there is a sadness here.' In Americana land, it's a kind of a beautiful sadness.

from A to Zinc

man seriously i've been having the crazyest days lately i feel like im some kind of attention whore i need to be constantly doing shit and i think im gettting deep into a cycle of faster living its prob cuz of the recent "life" chages that have been going on and not to say change isnt good of course it is...i just want to be everywhere all the time to many friends around at once not enough hours in the day to take care of things and have a good time you know what im saying.

old man in a orange shirt wagging his finger in my face, "your about to get your jaw broke"

three men follow a young new york girl outside to smoke and flirt

a man stops while carrying a pizza to make a miniture wave to a toddler on a shoulder

"dude, did you see that?"

the fight to save boxing

skinner

So now that i totally have a comrad on this thing, Britanny, that killed it on her 1st post even though i know it was copied from gayspace i guess its my tun now to bring the pain.

my new place reminds me of a danish sewing barn, and through my disscusions with ed we think it was onece either:

A) Horse stable

B) Carriage/buggy/Wagon garage

C) Model T Garage

D) all of the above

I think it's D cuz the shit is mad old!

So a little update on wierd things going on: Allmost got in a fight outside Unitard cuz a was blabbing about throwing a half empty beer at some wasted dudes face that was spilling beer intentionally everywhere and on everyone! Little did i know his, "crew" of graffitti dudes MSK or whatev's heard this and i guess tried to fight me.. went something like this;

Graffitti Dude: what the fuck you you talking bout throwing your fucking beer at my friend?

Cory: shit didnt know he was your friend SON your boy is mad drunk and spilling beer allover everybody

GD: So now im your son?

C:...huh

GD: you called me your son, you my dad or some shit?

C: uh... naw homes im not your dad

GD: So now im your homes?

(So this is that part where, despite being drunk, i figure this dude and company are just looking for any excuse to get in a fight, i also know that i probelby have much more friends that had my back than this dude but i didnt know if they where in the near area and/or were as hard as some MSK gang whatever guys)

C: {pours beer on GD's Shoes}

GD: {Pours beer on C's Shoes}

C: ...OKAY... i guess we're even now...

Anyways it went something like that, i think long story short i didnt get my ass beat




This one's for Brit shes loves this crew...

velo muncher

got off work yesterday and bagged what food was left at the beach house, the place is getting fumigated today and tommarow. Friday a man will measure the amount of poisionous gas left in the building and clear it once again for human habitation. Once Skritski and I completed that I met up with Ed, Ben, and layne and took the scenic route to the velodrome for tuesday night racing. We picked up some beers along the way and bombed a hill. the stands were even more full than opening week(last Tuesday) and the tecate was flowing. Aki was there along with Jay, we rapped out about the Buck Fifty Bike Build Off that we came up with and cemented the catagory's and rules. Lost my Utter Kaos beer koozie on the way back, hawlin too much ass i guess. Sushi Deli sounds good, regardless of how much they've fallen off.

skin test

I dreamt last night that i was slowly pulling/ripping the skin off my the top of my foot and once i got underneath the skin and flesh found a totally terminator thing going on.. like my bones and tendans were robotic. so...

Title (unnamed)

So, i have a loose working idea for a screenplay. Basicly it's a story about a man and his dog, the dog has a job at the airport working for the TSA and the man, (ie: Jack Black or any other overweight actor) is a wastoid with no job. I'm thinking that the man has to drive his dog to and from work everday... like i said, a loose idea.